First Time On My Own and My Parents Hate It

If the phrase “overprotective parents” was in the dictionary, you would see a picture of my parents there. They are having a very hard time with me being away from school and did not like the distance I was putting between them. My parents set ground rules for me while at college.

Rules For Rachel While At College

·      Must call or text them every day

·      Carry pepper spray with me at all times

·      Never walk alone at night

·      Let them know of all of my plans in advance

·      Tweet my whereabouts so they can check my twitter compulsively

·      Don’t have fun

·      Don’t learn to be independent

My mother is very offended when I don’t talk with her every day and feels that I talk with my sister and my father more than I talk with her. I do not intend to do anything like that but she does work making it harder for me to talk to her. She also limited what I could and could not do when I was in high school. If I ever wanted to hang out with anyone she needed to know who would be there, what time we would get there and leave, where would we be, what exactly would we do, and the list went on and on. 

Now my mother didn’t have to do this when she was a child, being the last of six she was the baby of the family and could do what she wanted. She even was allowed to get on a plane by herself at the age of sixteen and fly to Arizona to visit a friend of hers. This past summer I had the opportunity to visit my cousin in Chicago alone and was not allowed to go because “it’s a different world now.” That phrase seems to be uttered all the time from my parents. The world is so different from what they grew up in and they can’t accept that the world will always be changing and evolving.  For them, their world was a lot safer. There wasn’t the threat of terrorist attacks on every corner and it was more carefree. There are more worries in today’s world, despite it being safer than the world she grew up in, according to Hanna Rosin’s article The Overprotected Kid. What my grandmother had to worry about was making sure everyone was home for dinner while my parents worried about me getting picked up by a stranger to help them find their puppy.

Parents are more overprotective because of the recent fear of terrorist attacks. With the thirteenth anniversary of 9/11 having just passed, the comparisons of what the world used to be and what it is now are extremely different. Following 9/11 there have been so many school shootings with Columbine being the one that sticks out most in my mind. As a parent, there is that fear that something like that could happen again and you just want to protect your kids. There's the fear that tragedy could strike and you can't help your child get out of it and save them. I understand that. At the same time, your kids do need to learn to be independent and not go running to mommy with every problem they have. Being the oldest child, I think it’s hard for them to accept that I am no longer their little girl and am on my way to becoming an adult all on my own. They have shaped me the best they can and now need to learn it’s time for me to mature on my own. So for this I have decided to take my parents to court (not really)

Their parenting styles now are considered the norm, but in Hanna Rosin’s article “The Overprotective Kid” is quoted: 

“Actions that would have been considered paranoid in the ’70s—walking third-graders to school, forbidding your kid to play ball in the street, going down the slide with your child in your lap—are now routine. In fact, they are the markers of good, responsible parenting.” 

We have to understand that there are different concerns now in this world but there needs to be a line drawn somewhere. There is also a double standard for women in this world. Just because I am a girl that makes me weaker and defenseless against any attacker, even though that is not true. I have on my keys pepper spray and a rape whistle just in case anything happens on campus. The media perpetuates that I being a girl cannot take care of myself with news stories like Steubenville, hearing of school shootings- I live about a half hour from Sandy Hook, and seeing girls being raped in television shows such as Veronica Mars. The show was on the air from 2004-2007 on CW/the WB and addresses very real issues. (Veronica Mars is the best TV show of all time and you all should watch it.) 

The thing that bothers me, especially in the Steubenville case, is that no one did anything. So many people witnessed this occurring and just used their phones and posted it on social media. It irks me so much that this was fine and the boys involved with this had their football careers ruined. I am very aware of the issues that are occurring in today’s world and realize women are treated less for being a woman. I am a feminist and I long to see a day where we can be treated equally to men and defy the social norms that girls have to be protected. Human beings need to be protected; women do not need to be singled out just for being women.

Feminists aren't man haters, they want equality for all. Queen B supports it and you should too! 

After ranting about how overprotective my parents are, it may surprise you to know that I don’t hate my parents. I actually get along with them very well. We tend to like the same music and I don’t yell at them at all, compared to my little sister. Yes they are overprotective but I really feel badly for my sister, as they probably will be worse on her. I know that already they are talking about me and what they think I could be doing right now and etc. I admire my parents, especially my mom for being the leader of our family and getting shit done. I don’t think my parents know they need to balance their overprotectiveness in accordance to their letting me mature. Hopefully they’ll find a balance soon and I can start to deal with my own issues, like blowing the fuse in my dorm room. I don't know what it's like to be independent. I don’t want to call my parents all the time but I do because it's weird for me to go a day without talking to them. I've already called my dad today to thank him for the Mallomars that came in a care package. My parents are great although they are overbearing. It's nice they know me so well but I want to be able to mature on my own. That being said, I am currently looking at how to get home this weekend... isn't it ironic?

My one true love, Mallomars!